On the Cutting Edge of Societal Satire

by Eb Rogers
Music Reporter

Carlos Santana gives new meaning to the term dead head. Santana, who recently won a Grammy, claims there is just one explanation for his rise back to the top of rock music: Talking to the dead. Santana agreed to speak with Jester's World News on the condition of anonymity, which we granted. He was even kind enough to pose for a picture while taking a break from rehearsal.

I asked the rock legend if the real reason for resurgence had more to do with a young generation with no identity of it's own. "Look at who some of the top bands of today are, Bad company, Aerosmith, Springsteen, the Allman Brothers," I asked. "These guys are all grandfathers and still performing to sell out crowds."

"No, man, no." Santana replied, shaking his head. "I talk to Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison every day man. They give me guidance."

"What do you mean guidance?  Like, help with chords or..." I looked over at Santana and noticed that his eyes were closed. His head was bobbing slowly forward. I was about to nudge him when his eyes sprang open.

"Were you talking to one of those guys?" I asked.

"No, I dozed off. Sorry. Where were we."

"I asked you what sort of guidance Hendrix and those guys give you."

"Guidance to finding the next level of consciousness man. We only see 3 dimensions, there are 27. Normal humans like you will never see beyond this realm, this pitiful world of ours. I've been chosen by the great ones to experience other dimensions."

"Which drugs do they recommend? I know the Indians always used peyote to help them see the spirits..."

Again I noticed that his eyes had gone shut and his head was bobbing. I gave him a pretty good bump with my elbow. "Oh did I wake you?"

"I wasn't sleeping man. I was conferring with Jim Morrison, trying to find out how much I should tell you."

"What did he say?"

"He said if you ever elbow me like that again, I should gut you like a sand crab."

"Oh."  I cleared my throat. "So, what drugs do you use to reach this other dimension?"

"I cannot tell you any more details about the experience. You aren't ready."

Midway through my next question, I noticed his eyes had closed again. I waited patiently for them to spring open, but when he fell off the stool and bounced off the floor, and still didn't open them...I was pretty sure he wouldn't be waking up any time soon. So I left.

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