On the Cutting Edge of Societal Satire

Attorney General Janet Reno says an investigation is being considered by the Justice Department in response to complaints against Ford Motor Company. She says the auto dealer may be guilty of violating anti-trust laws.

"At a time when President Clinton is working harder than any Republican President ever has of improving our relationship with the Japanese, we find that Toyota and Kawasaki dealers aren't being allowed to sell Fords without joining the Ford Dealership program."  Reno said. "The question is why? It stinks of a monopoly on Ford sales."

Although Reno says it's a coincidence and not pressure being applied by her Justice Department, Ford has also been hit with the potential of a forced recall. This time, because a Ford being driven by a Judge stalled.

The judge, who said vehicles should never fail to start, is considering ordering a recall of as many as 2 million Ford Motor Company vehicles, beginning with the 1972 Pinto his daughter owns. "I couldn't believe it...there I was, late for an appointment at the urologist, and the damn Pinto wouldn't start!" He said. "I said to myself, I've got the power, why not use it? Ford will pay for my inconvenience."

The Ford Motor Company is still struggling to deal with the firestone tire incident. Reno shrugged when asked by reporters how Ford would be able to endure all of this negative attention. "Ain't my problem. They're rich, they can afford it."

She went on to say that such investigations are warranted if there is even the slightest hint of impropriety. "If there is even the remotest of possibilities that the accusations are true, we must investigate."

She chuckled when asked why, then, she refused to call for an investigation of Vice President Al Gore and his ties to illegal fundraising when it was recommended. "He's in the middle of a campaign. Why would we hamper his chances for election and put my job in jeopardy? You people are sure stupid." She said.

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