On the Cutting Edge of Societal Satire

Simplified so even morons can
understand the concepts...

by Larry Crassman

It's not a difficult concept to grasp, this thing they call Internet Marketing. Unfortunately, there are a lot of idiots who slap up a Webpage and wonder why they aren't getting filthy, stinking rich.

Call this Internet Marketing 101 for Morons (I don't want to insult dummies here.)

Generate sales

If your Website was designed to promote your services or sell your wares, it would be a good idea to actually do that. That's how you make money off your site. Price your services and goods so that they are competitive. Grabbing a number out of the air doesn't cut it. If you had a monopoly - and we all know how wonderful that would be - you could get away with fileting your customers.

Kill customer with great service

To break this down into even a more simple concept - the best way to make money off your Website is to offer a service somebody actually needs, or a product that won't leave customers dead or close to it. Nothing ruins your reputation like wounding, maiming or killing a customer with faulty products or services. Trust me on this one...been there, done that.

The customer service and support you provide will ultimately make the difference in your ability to close the on-line sale and keep them coming back.

Research shows many people start the buying process on-line and finish it off-line. That's why I use a myriad of tracking devices, like cookies that invade privacy and give me access to customer's hard drives. I know who they are...if they come to my site and don't buy, I get even.

I have a section designed to collect names and E-mail addresses. This not only allows me to communicate with my regular customers, but I make a killing selling these names to spammers.

One way to collect names is to offer your own e-zine, or e-mail newsletter. At first, I thought this would be a difficult process - to research information and mail it out. No way - it's a snap. I just subscribe to somebody else's e-zine, change a few words and mail it out as my own. So far, nobody has caught on.

Doing business on-line isn't rocket science if you follow these simple tips.

(Larry Crassman is CEO and President of Screwemall.net.)

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