On the Cutting Edge of Societal Satire

They pictured themselves as being Robin hood and his merry men, the three men who robbed a travel agency in South Shields England. They felt like they were righting social (and financial) inequality by stealing the traveler's checks.

"I could almost hear the music as we sat in the car waiting for just the right moment." Russell Smythe said, ringleader of the bandits who've been nicknamed "The Three Amoebas" by law enforcement. "I felt like I was in a movie, I could feel the eyes of millions upon me..."

And then Smythe led the charge into the building. They had been planning this raid for weeks, the take would be a safe filled with travelers checks. Smythe, a former ballet dancer and choreographer for local theater productions, was graceful but menacing according to Office Manager Lori Blackhed. "I never thought I'd be scared of a man who ran on his tiptoes, but I was."

Smythe burst through the door, waving a knife in one hand and holding an imitation sawed-off shotgun in the other. There were 8 or 10 customers standing in the office, and a half-dozen employees. The room was deathly still.

"It was then we realized we were in the wrong building." Smythe told police, his head in his heads as he painfully recalled the error. He pushed his partners toward the door, apologizing profusely to the employees of the opticians office.

"This guy, he says he's sorry and then starts tap-dancing toward the door,like it was a gag or something." Blackhed said. "It was weird." She said she called the police when she saw Smythe enter the travel agency next door.

Once inside the travel agency, Smythe said he pushed his way through his partners and demanded to know where the safe was. At this point, the trio of crooks were pretty shook-up. Too impatient to wait for the employee to lead them to the safe, they grabbed a small container of foreign coins valued at $7 and a bottle of whiskey, and fled.

It didn't get any better for the Three Amoebas as they made their getaway. The car ran out of gas, so they abandoned it. Police found the car, inside were telltale clues to the identities of the bandits, and all three were arrested.

Smythe, his head still in his hands, said he is trying to focus on the positive. "Jail time will give me the opportunity to write my autobiography." He told detectives. "I think DeNiro ought to play me...maybe he would, but I think I'll rewrite the ending."

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